today at the ortho the woman at the make-a-new-appointment counter asked me a question. the words didn’t quite process so i had to ask her to repeat her question three times. finally:
me: [lightbulb flickers on. weakly.] oh! “perfume“
her: yes - what kind are you wearing?
me: [slowly, still confused] uh i’m not wearing any perfume.
her: oh. …really?
me: [resisting urge to sniff own armpit] …uh. yeah?
topher: our problems are huuuge. and indomitable.
adelle: oo. i could eat that word. or a crisp. do you have any crisps?
topher: …you haven’t seen my drawer of inappropriate starches?!*
although the best moment might be the reveal that topher isn’t wearing any pants. or when mr. dominic freaks out (petting his own arm: “soooooft. like a kitty!”).
* note to self: create drawer of inappropriate starches.
mom: guess what we did today
kara: ?
mom: well, dad went in to help load some of jessy’s things to move down to peoria this morning at 9
mom: i was going to go in to help load the u-haul after i took grandma for her hair do
mom: but dad was done before i even took grandma
mom: sooooo - we went to look at the 09 toyotas and test drove one
mom: picked up lunch and then went to zimmerman’s to test drive & look at the civics
kara: OMG YOU BOUGHT A CAR
mom: we were just going to see what they could offer us with a trade in and ended up buying one!!
mom: the deal maker for buying the car was she threw in the mud flaps ($149) for free
kara: mud flaps were the deal maker?
kara: are you kidding me?
mom: not really - but we were ready to leave and she asked what would it take to buy it today
kara: ha
kara: and you said free mud flaps?
kara: which are only $150?
mom: well, it was a pretty good deal to begin with
mom: like i said - we really weren’t planning on buying a car today - it just kind of happened
kara: hm
kara: you ‘accidentally’ spent $15,000?
mom: kinda - maybe - sorta
kara: can you ‘accidentally’ spend $2000 on a new computer for me?
mom: LOL
kara: i mean you saved a ton of cash on those mud flaps…
mom: LOL LOL LOL
mom: dad’s almost rolling on the floor
kara: if the macbook air had a 2200×1600 res screen or whatever my dell has, i’d buy one in an instant, lack of processing power or optical drive be damned
kara: the lack of screen real estate is the one thing that really annoys me about this effing powerbook
kara: that and how i dropped it so now it doesn’t close properly
eric: oop
kara: but surely it marks some kind of personal progress that i still have it and am not planning to buy another laptop and haven’t even attempted to have it fixed
eric: try dropping a shelf on it* or pouring some beer in there to see if that fixes it
kara: HAHA
eric: that’s what i’d do**
kara: yeah, this is a different computer
kara: it’s not titanium
kara: so it’s crappier
* on dillo day, senior year, i closed (ok maybe slammed - it was around noon so i was probably already kinda [pretty] drunk) the door to my room, and one of my wood and glass wall-mounted dvd cabinets fell off (out of?) the wall and landed on my tibook. then it bounced and made a nice triangle-shaped hole in the desk from where the corner hit it. the tibook walked away with a very small dent in the cover that you could see only when the light hit it properly. no screen damage. no performance changes. god i miss that thing.
** when eric was courting me he spilled a bottle of beer over the keyboard of my then-new tibook (which i’d left at work, open, rendering something in after effects) then, after the other guys at the office had heroically emptied it out and dried it (hooray for the compartmentalized removable keyboard), eric decided not to leave a note saying it had happened. you know, ’cause maybe i wouldn’t notice that it had changed position on my desk (with MY ocd? yeah right.) or that it smelled slightly off or there was a nick in the screen where i assume the bottle hit it. ahhh romance. next time i’ll tell you about how eric accidentally burned my hand the first day of our european vacation. wait, i already did. …ok, maybe i haven’t made as much personal progress as i thought.
kara: (eats ham from plastic package)
kara: (and it’s delicious)
pat: haha
pat: i thought you had tons of leftover ham!
pat: why from a plastic package?
pat: (also, in my mind, you are holding the plastic package with both hands, biting down on the top and tearing the ham out cartoon style)
kara: all of the leftover ham is in the big pot of awesome split pea soup maria made
pat: ooo
kara: your vision of my ham-eating is pretty close
kara: i have zero table manners when i eat by myself
pat: my vision was more of an idealized fantasy
pat: so i’m glad to hear it
kara: your idealized fantasy of your girlfriend eating is that she does it in the manner of a cartoon animal?
kara: dude, i have to maybe reevaluate things here
2 slices of pink baloney, an orange, some gross squishy oreo. some powdered milk. i kept my packet of powdered milk as a souvenir. it doesn’t even say “milk” on it. it just is a little white packet that says like “Bernard (Copyright 2006)” or something.
eric: no abbreviations in scrabble right?
eric: man i can spell “faked” with just the letters i have
kara: uh…no probably not
kara: it won’t let you play like, ‘IQ’
eric: i want to somehow combine that with ziti to make a new dish
kara: …’faked ziti’?
kara: LOL
eric: like baked ziti, but… just totally fake
eric: or iew
eric: caked ziti
eric: that’s what you get after you forget that you cooked baked ziti
eric: ok, i think this is the progression actually: Baked Ziti –> Nuked Ziti –> Puked Ziti –> Caked Ziti
pat: hey, so tomorrow, after the gallery, since it’s super tuesday asa and a bunch of kids are meeting at big wangs to watch the primary results
pat: i’d love to go over there around 9ish
pat: would you be up for that?
kara: sure!
pat: it may be over by then
pat: but they’ll still be there drinking away
kara: wait back up
kara: ‘big wangs’?
pat: big wangs
pat: yeah
kara: …ok…
kara: ..uh…?
pat: haha
pat: i know what you’re thinking
kara: yeah
kara: i’m thinking it, to be sure
pat: but no, it’s just a wing sports bar
addendum: now i’m really hungry.
re: christian and sean on nip/tuck
maria: they’re brenemies! brothers, friends and enemies!
wolf: i’m smellin’ fear an’ i’m smellin’ blood an’ i’m gonna eat you.