By Carlos Greaves:

In addition to satisfying our customers, the decision to reopen the park is also about allowing the furloughed employees of Jurassic Park to get back to the work they love. Could we have continued to pay their salaries for several months until we got the velociraptor situation under control? Definitely. We’re the wealthiest nature preserve on the planet after all. And will some of the employees returning to work have their limbs torn off and tossed into the air like a juggler tossing bowling pins? Undoubtedly. But we’re confident that with a few safety precautions put in place, we’ll be able to keep the level of workplace injuries and deaths just below levels that would elicit widespread public outrage. And keeping things just below widespread public outrage levels is our gold standard for all of the decisions we make here at Jurassic Park.

Read the complete text at McSweeney’s.

What if you drew everything you ate…for 30 years?? A Tokyo chef did it, and you can see his beautiful drawings (some are pop-ups!) here.

…or Your Ph.D. Program?

Over at McSweeney’s

MARC FORNES / THEVERYMANY

Installed on the elevated plaza of the Suzhou Center for the Jinji Lake Biennial. More info

Boolean Operator

Hopefully I’ll get to swing by Fiji in the Fall!

52 Places to Go in 2018: Fiji

We collected 482 stories of kissing and hooking up, longing looks and breaking up, and we plotted their coordinates. Add your own.

“I think potatoes deserve to roam around freely and see the world, like cows or chickens or other kinds of food.”

Spoiler: no. Don’t do this. Actually, I got all the way to the end of it, so I guess I’m doing the right thing? …???!

click to embiggen

via ErrantScience via Julie Mitchell

My afternoon was derailed when Hannah and I started watching this and basically cried for 40 minutes straight. I’ll miss the decency, compassion, and level-headedness of this administration.

A photo gallery of the making of my favorite website tribute to the best hour of televison, Seventeen People:

Seventeen People: Process

Yes please. Full list and photos.

Hotel Villa Honegg

Hotel Villa Honegg

Hahaha these are so good. Who isn’t creeped out by that part in ‘Grease’ or ‘Sixteen Candles’??

GENIUS: The purpose of this show is to instruct young viewers in two things: literacy, and delayed gratification.

SUIT #3: Why delayed gratification?

[The GENIUS waits a long time before she answers, and everyone agrees Carl walked right into that one]

from The Toast

I’m oddly comforted that the NFL doesn’t allow this technology to be used for advertising.