dude, ‘spider’ is a creepy movie. really creepy. any movie where the lead actor who is getting paid mad bank (i’m hip….i’m with it….) and only has 3 comprehensible lines has to be weird. but it was a good weird.

i think my head’s about to explode with this whole work project thing. yeargh. i can’t even think of what i have to do next with that or editing or whatever. i thought stress was supposed to be over when finals were done? but oh, that’s right….the fucking WAR.

ps – war sucks. why are we at war? oh right. pissing contest with daddy. didn’t anyone see ‘three kings’?! haven’t we learned our lesson?! why do we have to be all swooping in to ‘solve’ things all the time? it just gets us into deeper shit. why can’t we be like canada….no one wants to go to war with canada. when’s the last time canada had a terrorist attack? is canada on ‘tangerine’ alert or whatever new color we’ve come up with because we can’t even decide on a definite number of colors on a stupid fucking chart?! meanwhile i’m alternately sickened and relieved that if it weren’t for the tv news i would have no idea that a war is going on. i mean, right now i’m watching the live feed from iraq of u.s. troops on their way to baghdad. it’s like a movie or a video game or something! war in the 21st century is too easy. it doesn’t cost us that many lives and we can just go antiseptically launch some missles and blow some shit up and basically fuck up another country safe in our belief (behind our computer control panels) that really, nothing can touch us because we’re the shit. we’re the united states. i mean we’re practically giving the iraqi military our troops’ gps coordinates. it’s so easy to go to war when most of it will happen to people that none of us will ever have to see or think about. we won’t have to see them bleeding with their intestines in their hands or see their families torn apart by their deaths. we won’t have to see the consequences of our stupid war. because no one takes any responsiblity for anything anymore.

i don’t like the way things are going – towards a police state? totalitarianism? – and i don’t know what to do about it. so i’ll probably just keep ignoring what’s going on so i don’t spend my mornings trying to decide whether it’s worth it to get out of bed. besides, if i did actually do anything i’d probably be shot for ‘collaborating’ or treason or something. guess what people – just because some sensible people think war is a bad idea because it always causes MORE problems doesn’t mean that they are anti-American or communists or inleague with Al Qaeda or something. some people think killing people and invading other countries and pissing off the u.n. is NOT a good idea. what really bothers me is the people who don’t see how that could be bad. you know, the people who are like ‘yeah, kill everyone! no one’s innocent – who cares if we kill civilians? go to war! hooray for america at war! we’re going to kick your asses because we ARE bad motherfuckers, motherfucker!’ those people make me want to puke. all over them.

maybe tomorrow i’ll be in a better mood.