it all started with a doughnut. i inhaled the doughnut. it made my throat kind of raw and scratchy. i thought that was the end. then on thursday i started coughing and started feeling feverish. i stayed at work and came in the next day and oh man did i pay and pay and pay for that. friday night i couldn’t sleep due to coughing fits so violent i was sure i was going to throw up and on saturday i had a fever and chills and sweats all day. sunday was a little better, less body aches a little less coughing. except of course when i tried to go to sleep, this is when the coughing would immediately start again. or worse, it would lie in wait until i fell asleep and then it would attack, chasing me to the bathroom to cough up what? some rewarding mucus? something to make it worth while? no, some barely thicker-than-spit fluid. sunday was also when eric, who had been so sweet and awesome taking care of me while i was barely coherent on saturday, started to get sick and get a fever. monday eric was having chills and sweats and fever and i felt worse again. today, 5 days from the first symptoms and something like 6 different kinds of drugs later, i feel about the same, although eric’s fever has gone away. the bright spot? thought you’d never ask:

ladies and gentlemen, the octo dog frankfurter converter. maybe i’ll get this for my mom.