check out this article over at – it’s a ficticious log from on board enterprise NCC-1701-D (ok, the next generation ship, alright? look, i’m a NERD OK? haven’t i always been up front about this?). it is…HILARIOUS. a sample:

Stardate 41021
Call: 02:55 – Replicator Malfunction (emergency)
Complainant: Lt. Junior Grade Worf

Report: Was woken up in the middle of the sleep cycle by a call from Lt. Worf. Asshead said he was having difficulty getting the replicator to produce k’ruh’nuwhatever. Some bullshit Klingon crap. I get there and Worf answers the door completely naked. Great start. He smells like he’s been running laps inside a dog’s asshole and he is apparently drunk again. I ask him what the hell the k’ruh’nuwhatever crap is and he launches into some unlistenable shit about his Klingon house. He’s slurring all over the place with his giant deformed Klingon dong flapping around and I’m barely able to stay awake. I pretend to “tune” the replicator until he passes out and then leave.

Status: Resolved.