found this article on angie’s site, and found it interesting.

The three apology types or components are: compensation (e.g. I’m sorry I broke your window, I’ll pay to have it repaired); empathy (e.g. I’m sorry I slept with your best friend, you must feel like you can’t trust either of us ever again); and acknowledgement of violated rules/norms (e.g. I’m sorry I advised the CIA how to torture people, I’ve broken our profession’s pledge to do no harm).

I don’t feel I am strongly aligned with any of the personality types that the article indicates as most likely to appreciate each kind of apology, but I definitely respond best to the ‘rule violation’ type of apology, and find all other apologies to be cheap cop-outs. the ’empathy’ kind of apology – that seems like a given to me, and the ‘compensation’ apology feels like the apologizer is trying to buy their way out of guilt. if I don’t get a ‘rule violation’ apology I feel the apology is not sincere, because the apologizer has not acknowledged any actual wrongdoing. what do you think?