Eric directed my attention to this excellent blog: Texts From Bennett.

These are text messages I exchange with my 17 year old cousin Bennett. He is a white boy that thinks he’s a Crip, works at Amoco, has a girlfriend named Mercedes, and is one of the most unintentionally funny and brilliant souls on the planet.

He has no idea I do this blog. Yes, this is 100% real.

Probably the cleanest one: