so…i’ve been hesitant to mention this, because on the nerd scale it’s only a few steps up from admitting that i’m really into d&d or gurps or i’m 38 and still a virgin or something, but for the past few weeks i’ve been hard-core diving in to perplex city, a massive alternate reality puzzle game…ok this is already sounding lame. i can sense all of you normal healthy-social-life people falling asleep or getting ready to steal my headgear.

the point is, this game is really cool. there are a ton of websites and mysteries to look into – this made-up universe is deep – a lot of intrigue, and the game itself is pretty challenging. you buy pretty foil packets of cards and solve the puzzle on each card for points. the person with the highest points once all of the cards have been released wins £100,000 (about $200,000 USD)!

the cards have other puzzles hidden in them too – the higher-ranked cards have map pieces on the back, some cards (the prime-numbered ones) have playing card markings and some have large shaded spaces thought to be parts of letters that will form a clue when the cards are arranged correctly. the cards also lead to more clues about the central mystery of the game: who stole the cube? one puzzle was to figure out a girl’s phone number based on clues, and if you call the number that leads to the girl’s website which in turn leads to all sorts of clues about the search for the cube and the conspiracy surrounding it.

so far i’m ranked 2170 out of 17,727 registered players. to give you an idea – i have 703 points and the player in first place has 7000. the game is british and the first wave cards have only been available for purchase in the united states for less than a month, so i think i’m doing alright. the packets are pretty cheap – $20 for 4 packs of 6 at insound. i figured it out, and if i buy the minimum amount of packets (no repeat cards…uh, i have 8 packets so far and like 10 repeats) to get a full set of cards, i’ll have spent at least $200. uh…yeah. so we’ll see (feel free to buy me some cards. makes a great umm…early going away gift…or a ‘just thinking of you’ gift or a ‘hey nerd, keep on nerdin!’ gift). i have no illusions that i’ll win, but i’d like to finish in the top 1000. so far some of the puzzles are really easy and some are insanely difficult. wish me luck!

check out this article over at somethingawful.com – it’s a ficticious log from on board enterprise NCC-1701-D (ok, the next generation ship, alright? look, i’m a NERD OK? haven’t i always been up front about this?). it is…HILARIOUS. a sample:

Stardate 41021
Call: 02:55 – Replicator Malfunction (emergency)
Complainant: Lt. Junior Grade Worf

Report: Was woken up in the middle of the sleep cycle by a call from Lt. Worf. Asshead said he was having difficulty getting the replicator to produce k’ruh’nuwhatever. Some bullshit Klingon crap. I get there and Worf answers the door completely naked. Great start. He smells like he’s been running laps inside a dog’s asshole and he is apparently drunk again. I ask him what the hell the k’ruh’nuwhatever crap is and he launches into some unlistenable shit about his Klingon house. He’s slurring all over the place with his giant deformed Klingon dong flapping around and I’m barely able to stay awake. I pretend to “tune” the replicator until he passes out and then leave.

Status: Resolved.