eric: beef – it’s what’s for dinner
eric: pork – the other white meat.
eric:i’d like to write a slogan for a meat
eric: does ‘chicken’ have one?
eric: oh wait. i guess that’s the original white meat.
eric: i think ‘sausage’ could borrow theirs from jc penney.
kara: ‘it’s all inside’?!
Archives for category: quotes
kate: how’s the online zine site coming
kara: pretty slowly since…surprise! no content
kate: time to get down with some lorem ipsum?
kate: <----loser who can't believe she just said that
pertinent link: momus uses lorem ipsum text in a song!
conrad: it is cool that there is no content yet. do not feel bad. 🙂
watching the glitter lamp in the dark:
eric: uh, there’s something i’m thinking that i want to tell you, but…well, i’m trying to think how to say it without it sounding like an insult.
kara: um, well maybe you shouldn’t tell me…?
eric: well what i was going to say was ‘you look really pretty in the dark’ but i guess that’s sort of…
kara: …….?!
eric: i mean, you look really pretty at other times too, not just uh…when it’s, you know…dark… i guess that’s sort of, i mean i didn’t mean for it to be so…such a…
kara: backhanded compliment?
eric: yeah.
[pause]
eric: here, let’s just put a bag over your head
courtesy of ‘amish in the city’ (probably not exact):
amish guy: abraham lincoln ate fatback for breakfast every day of his life.
not-amish girl: yeah, well i bet he died at, like, 30.
amish guy: i don’t think that’s why he died.
corollary:
from ‘Abraham Lincoln’ by Eric, Grade 1:
Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin. I was not there.
pertinent link: amish heat
check out this pineapple pillow from linens ‘n things. are you kidding me? kudos to the photographer for taking the picture with that big seam up front and center. and i quote:
This LNT Home Pineapple Pillow makes a great conversation piece for use with any décor.
ANY décor? really??
kara: who would want this
andrew: wtf, indeed i do not know
andrew: you are what you…sleep on?
kara: ha prickly and…uh
andrew: pinepillow?
andrew: pilapple?
kara: sounds sort of like falafel
andrew: plapple?
kara: PLAPPLE
andrew: not sure where the L comes from, but i think we have a winner
andrew: “honey, can you pass me my plapple?” response:
andrew: “get your own” or rather “get your own plapple”
kara: plapple should be the new word for the confused noise one makes when confronted with a questionable design choice
andrew: i like your idea
andrew: slight head-cocking should accompany
andrew: plapple?
kara: she has plastic flamingoes in her yard! oh man, talk about a plapple!
kara: straight woman: what do you think of this zebra print hat with a REAL zebra head on the top? isn’t it SO lion king mid 90s?
kara: gay male friend: oh HONEY no…plapple city! [insert stereotypical loose-wristed hand flip here]
andrew: wow lol plapple city
andrew: like circuit city but with more plapple
[…]
andrew: “plapple.com” is available.
greg storey at airbag commanded and i obeyed:
- grab the nearest book
- open the book to page 23
- find the fifth sentence
- post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
I’ve got something in my front pocket for you
Why don’t you reach down in my pocket and see what it is
Then grab onto it, it’s just for you
Give a little squeeze and say, “How do you do?”
There’s something in my front pocket
There’s something in my front pocket
There’s something in my front pocket…courtesy of the scriptorium.
Subarashii chinchin mono
Kintama no kame aru
Sore no oto sarubobo
Iie! Ninja ga imasuHey hey let’s go kenka suru
Taisetsu na mono protect my balls!
Boku ga warui so let’s fighting…
Let’s fighting love!
Let’s fighting love!Kono uta chotto baka
Wake ga wakaranai
Eigo ga mechakucha
Daijobu! We do it all the time!Hey hey let’s go kenka suru
Taisetsu na mono protect my balls!
the time: 7:30.
the place: eric & jon’s.
the show: antiques roadshow.
the appraiser: richard madley.
his hair and outfit: ridiculous
kara: pfffft! ha ha ha ha ha
eric: his name is DICK!
jon: i want dick madly!
eric: ha ha – c’mon now
jon: …no really, i need to get some furniture appraised.
kara: i just kept waking myself up with my coughing
eric: maybe you can try the all night, sneezing, sniffling, coughing, stuffy head, so you can pass out medicine