matt took me out to a different part of the forest preserve and we did some stuff in the parking lot then went out on the forest trail. i got a decent distance on my own before the ground got real bumpy (damn horses), i freaked out and fell over. i did manage to avoid the big piles of manure though (damn horses).

man, EVERYONE wants to help out when they see me. but most of the advice is really…uh…not helpful. like, ‘it just takes time!’ or ‘don’t give up!’ the most irritating comment i got was from a man who was in his late 60s. i’m not good at estimating ages. he looked way older than my dad so probably more like 70s? but i guess my uncle is in his 70s but this guy looked older than my uncle…but my uncle is in real good shape i think? i don’t know.

ANYWAY the point is, he said something like ‘i know it’s hard’. do you? DO YOU, guy who said he learned to ride a bike at age 4? do you actually remember how hard it is? I DOUBT IT.

matt took me to harms woods for my first bike-riding lesson. i managed not to break anything, but as expected i have a long way to go…what with having very little balance to begin with and all. the wind was blowing really hard and then it started raining so we kind of had to cut things short. we went to hackney’s afterwards, completely soaked. i feel sort of ill now from being cold and eating too many fried onions, and my calves are all bruised up, but i feel like i actually accomplished something today. or at least, you know, got on the road to eventually accomplishing something someday.

friday night josh threw an impromptu shabbat dinner party for 13 of his friends. we started cooking at about 6 and ate around 9. i peeled and chopped about 10 garlic cloves and my hands still smell garlicky. the food was plentiful, the challah was amazing and i think we we went through an obscene amount of wine and champagne. i crashed at josh’s then got up (relatively) early to go shopping with katie.

instructions for the sunglasses at night party – get flossed out. we went to water tower place to buy new outfits – new dresses and jewelry and i got new sunglasses. the party was at lakeview broadcasting company. i borrowed mark’s digital slr so i could take decent photos – once i’ve got them up i’ll put some up here see them on flickr. my memory of what i took photos of is a little, um, hazy…but i know i got a great shot of dawn looking like a badass (dawn: so i look like myself!). kareem took one of me drinking from his 40 and at one point antonio got in the model box and posed with the models which. was. awesome.

today – slept late, watched some tivo and trying to work up the motivation to do anything that involves moving around. cecile is cooking a big dinner tonight for battlestar and i’m making a cake with the leftover frosting from the horchata cupcakes i made for antonio & drew’s birthdays. nothing for the day after is better than apricot roasted pork loin. and sci-fi.

my grandpa died on tuesday morning and i drove home that afternoon. today was the visitation, tomorrow is the funeral. i’m doing ok, considering how fast it happened, the manner in which i found out and that the last time i saw him he was getting better, not worse, and was smiling because i had just told him i loved him.

i hate feeling this way and i feel so awful for my mom and my grandma. my grandparents would’ve been married 65 years next month. what is it like to spend 65 years with someone and then be alone?

something good from this – it’s amazing to see how many people loved my grandpa and how highly they thought of him. at the visitation today there were at least 400 people; the line was all the way around the room and out the lobby to the front doors for over three hours. everyone who knew him liked him and respected him – he was hardworking, loving, gentle, intelligent, curious, patient.

i’d say the men in my family have set the bar pretty high.

friday for our office holiday party we went to the chicago printmakers collaborative and screenprinted all afternoon. it was so cool! dawn had a bunch of screens made with different graphic elements she’d picked out for each of us. she also bought everyone american apparel scarves to screen. i think everyone ended up screening the red heart on their scarf except for dawn, who did the pink skull. raphy came by and brought his little girl too.

friday night we went to magnolia cafe for dinner. the food was fantastic and the desserts were really good. dawn had a bunch of great surprises for us, including a surprise poster she had delicious make us.

saturday katie, cecile, cecile’s friend ann and i went to russian tea time for lunch then went to see ‘the nutcracker’ performed by the joffrey ballet. it was FANTASTIC. it was magical. it was beautiful. i was slightly skeptical that it might be a little boring or something but it was so good. i might’ve even got a little teary at some points.

post-ballet we went to macy’s, met up with kris and then went over to the christkindlmarket for german pretzels and toasted nuts. after that, kris, katie and i went to feed the beast in lincoln square and had some drinks. kris’s roommate rob met us too and we stayed there for at least 3 hours. andy’s party was last night, so i went there sometime after 10 and everyone else went down to the hideout to see a daft punk cover band. the food at andy & jake’s was fantastic; jake is a chef and everything was so good. jon, andrew and cristina had to leave early to hit another party, but cecile, brian, sarah, devin and michael stayed pretty late. i think we left sometime after three after a lot of merriment and futurama.

today i slept past noon and have been fiddling with my new computer. thought about going to the davis to see a movie tonight, but meh. i have plenty of stuff on my tivo and computer i can catch up on, and maybe i’ll actually get to wrapping presents.